crying

sometimes i wanna cry
sometimes i wanna yell and howl until my lungs give out
sometimes i feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders
that i live a meaningless existence
that i will forever stay in a monotonous existence
and the same thing will go on day after day
and i can see my future all laid out before me
and it is beautiful
and perfect
lit in the suburbs like something out of a dream
it scares me
and i feel like crying when i think of the perfection of it